It’s Just Me…

Here’s my thing…

I am who I am; I will always be who I am.

If you are intimidated by my presence, deal with it because that my Dear One, is YOUR problem NOT mine! Accept me as I am because I am NOT changing for you. Being true to myself if the highest form of honor; perhaps you should try it too.

Never again will I dim my light.

Never again will I attempt to lessen my intelligence.

Never again will keep quiet so you can feel better about yourself.

I am NOT here to make you feel good (or bad) about who you are, that my Dear is YOUR responsibility; perhaps you should take it seriously.

I hope you’ve enjoyed your run; it’s over now!

Be mindful of how you approach me, I am kind, compassionate and helpful but if your intentions are less than honorable I promise to be your fiercest teacher.

As always, with a smile in my heart,

Love, Peace & Blessings…

Ember Rain ~ 12/02/2017

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The One…

Loves all of me, leaves his love with me when his physical presence is not possible

Inspires me, encourages me always…

He is loyal and honest

Protective yet freeing

Supportive in every way

Wants me as much as I want him

I am safe with him, always…

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Listens, I mean really listens to what I say as well as my silence

Shares with me, never holding back

Steps in embers of passion with me creating a fire that no one else can withstand

He loves to listen to my love song; his description for breaths I take when we’re entwined

He helps me understand and make peace with pain proceeding his presence in my world

He adds purpose and fulfillment to each New Day

He is kind, he is compassionate

He is the very essence of love…

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I love the powerful strength I feel when he touches me ever so gently

His scent lingers, long after he’s gone, keeps me company until he returns

The depth and softness of his voice, flows through my ears like a melodic tune

When he stares from across the room, he turns the flame inside of me into a roaring fire

When he smiles at me, the angriest feelings no longer haunt me

For he is The One whose heart rhythm was created to sync with mine

He is whole without me, I am whole without him; together we are perfect balance.

©2017 Ayana Theresa

Dearest Heart,

My Dearest Heart,

I still believe in you and your messages of guidance. I believe you know what is best for me and why I’ve been born to this world. I know you are strong; you are why and how I’ve survived this long.

You’ve been through so much and there has been so much strain put upon you. Some of the pain has been a direct result of poor choices I’ve made when I have ignored your guidance; others just because the world is not as warm and friendly as I imagined it to be.

I’m sorry for causing you distress and please know that I’ve tried my best to do better by you. I’ve tried so hard to allow you to lead… Please know that I’ve fought gallantly for you, but just because I’m a warrior does not mean I can win every battle.

Physically I am strong but I have not won wars within my mind; it’s perhaps the strongest force within me. Unfortunately, my mind does not seem to have my best interest at heart; it’s completely consumed with maintaining control of my entire being at any cost. Hopes and dreams are irrelevant to my mind.

I’m writing to let you know that I will no longer fight my mind. I will simply concede and do what I can to simply survive in this world until this lifetime is over. Perhaps you think of me as a quitter, but I hope you can understand that I am just so very tired of fighting; I have not won many battles to date. Exhaustion has swallowed me; whatever I’ve been fighting against is stronger than I may ever be.

I imagine you will continue charging ahead, although I believe you are just as beaten up as I am. I feel you straining to stay alive; beating as fiercely as you can perhaps in an effort to prevent me from giving in to my mind. I feel your heaviness; your discontent with my decision. Please know I am grateful for all you have done and will do; my faith in you will always be. Right now, I just need to rest; to simply just be in this chaotic world. I am prepared to let nothingness consume me, completely…

Perhaps the very next lifetime, you will be the strongest part of me; leading me to greatness. As for the remaining part of this lifetime, I will fade into the background and survive; perhaps gathering information to prepare for the next lifetime.

Cheers to you, Dearest Heart!

DSA (Divided States of America) Election – Mourning After

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The outcome of the DSA (Divided States of America) presidential election was never about her or him. I care about The People no matter what; the DSA election was not at all about The People.

As I awakened on this New Day, I felt a heaviness in my heart center. As if evil defeated good, hate defeated love, Goliath defeated David… Just to reiterate this is not about her or him (the her in this case certainly cannot be referenced as “good”) this is about The People.

I feel so disheartened because it should never have come to this; those two competing for a leadership position that impacts The People on such a large scale. I’m sad because no one stepped in to save us and I feel as though we could not do anything to save ourselves; powerless and vulnerable are the words that come to mind.

One of the worst realizations throughout the process, was feeling as though the good within The People was being reduced drastically and hate was replacing love and light.

It’s not just racism it’s pure hate for anything and anyone who doesn’t look as they look, do as they do, have what they have, believe as they believe, know what they know, act as they do…

I read something that said Canada can’t save us; funny because I thought of relocating to Canada shortly before this whole thing got into full swing. At some point, I realized that running was not the answer and I belong here same as those who CLAIM they are the only “true” Americans (whatever that means considering just about everyone one immigrated to the DSA).

I don’t know what will happen next but as I work through my disappointment, I will find answers I need to make My World a better place. My saving grace…knowing the Universe has a plan and this is where my faith remains.

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Save Your Loved Ones…OPTIONS

This weekend, someone I care about became so overwhelmed dealing with her pain on her own that she decided her only OPTION was to leave this world. She was a Beautiful Spirit; her energy comforting and inspiring. She apparently was an expert hiding her pain because everyone that knew her said she was “happy” and “full of life”. According to everyone there was no indication that she was experiencing internal chaos to the point of no return.

I had not seen her in a few weeks and the last time I saw her she did seem content. At the time of our last connection, I was experiencing my own internal chaos so perhaps I was not as tuned in as I normally am. My grief now with her passing is that I wish someone, if not me could have shown her another OPTION to managing her pain.

I’m always asking everyone to pay attention to loved ones; listen to them and never dismiss their feelings. How you may deal with an issue is not how someone else may be able to; respect their feelings even if you don’t understand them and NEVER, I mean NEVER tell someone to “just get over it and move on”.

In light of this situation, I am wondering how in-tuned with someone you can be if you are experiencing your own issues at the same time. I can remember thinking of this young women and feeling her internal conflict between the choices she had made; some she was not proud of but doing everything she could to make better choices and move forward. She worried constantly (mostly because of religious teachings) that she may never “be right” with God because of past indiscretions. It was difficult because of the people around her and their teachings, to believe God loved her no matter what, God knew her heart was kind and God understood she was trying to make a better life for herself.

options1I think now of the person who told me that contrary to what I believe, everyone does not need support and encouragement to thrive in this world. I respect her perspective but I firmly believe that everyone thrives with support and encouragement; now even more now than ever. I believe we all need someone to listen, I mean really listen; sometimes advise or offer counsel. We were not created to navigate this world alone. We need to know that we are not the only ones experiencing what conflict there may be. While no one else can validate our feelings, it helps to know that you are not alone and it helps to know there are OPTIONS…even when you feel hopeless, there are OPTIONS. Having support, being encouraged helps you access a place within you to create the OPTIONS that will help you get through any internal chaos you may experience.

Again, I wish someone including myself could have helped my young friend access her OPTIONS to escape the pain she was feeling. The feeling in my heart center is not just about her leaving this world, it’s also about the way she decided to leave…the cold and lonely journey she took to leave. I wish she wasn’t alone, I wish she wasn’t dragged down by darkness, I wish she knew how loved she was…is. Perhaps I should have told her how inspiring she was; how her smile and infectious laugh made the dimmest of days bright. Perhaps I should have reminded her of how encouraging her counsel was because you could always feel it coming from her heart; no judgement present.

helping-hand-emotionalNow more than ever I just feel that even when someone pushes us away, we can’t just let them be! I remember being so depressed years ago and not speaking to anyone except during work hours, my Mom would just keep leaving me messages, “I love you and I am here whenever you are ready to let me be.” At the time my internal chaos was so strong there was nothing anyone could say or do to help me, but those messages gave me an OPTION…to keep waking up each day until I could figure how to help myself. You never know how listening or perhaps lending words of kindness can truly be enough to help give someone light through their darkness.

Let’s make a pact to not be consumed by the fear, tragedy and sadness surrounding us in the world today. Let’s work together to create OPTIONS! Lend someone your words of kindness; inspire someone with your actions. Help someone find the strength they need to keep moving forward even when they feel hopeless. No act of kindness is too small.

A couple years ago, a woman in front of me at the Dunkin Donuts drive thru paid for my order without requiring recognition or thank you from me… During that time, I was struggling financially and I knew it was a blessing; it was my light during the darkness I was experiencing. So without much consideration, I used the money I set aside for my breakfast for the person behind me as a way to pay forward the kindness shown to me.

Do what you can and KNOW that it’s enough. Don’t let someone suffer alone; put your hand out and give them a boost up…help them access their OPTIONS. OPTIONS apply to Men and Women. Do NOT assume because physically Men are stronger (in most cases) that they don’t need someone to help them access their OPTIONS!

I’m sending you all the Love and Light I can without depleting my own at this time.

May your outlook be bright and may you always remember you have OPTIONS.

Love, Peace & Blessings…

If you didn’t know…now you know!

Although I still find it somewhat difficult to accept that I’ve never met anyone who “gets” me, today I’ve made great progress not allowing it to adversely affect me. People often complain I am distant and out of touch with them but today I realized their opinion is based on their inability to understand how I connect and communicate. I will only admit to being different (not better than) from most people I’ve come across during this lifetime; if you have a problem with that, please see My Creator for additional information.

So here are some random facts about me…

I will never be a church going, religious person; I do believe in a Higher Power same as most but I don’t need or want anyone to be a part of our relationship.

I have a deep affinity for trees, animals, oceans, the sky, the Moon, the Sun, the Stars, each planet…

I love Seniors and Children and defend them passionately.

I love the idea of Love and everything that Love is! I know what Love smells like, tastes like, feels like, sounds like, looks like…

I’ve got a serious jones for music, REAL music; it helps me process what I feel and inspires me to keep feeling and creating. The instruments, the words of a song…it’s all magical to me.

Sheldon is my favorite character on The Big Bang Theory; yeppers socially inept and all, I love me some Sheldon Cooper!

I enjoy books, movies and shows about magic and even some vampires, but this doesn’t make me demonic-like!

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I love storms and the energy they bring; cleansing and release…

When I write I like to use ellipses … and semi-colons ; because the thoughts in my mind don’t usually have periods.

I’ve been collecting stones since I was about 4 years young; way before I knew the energetic properties of crystals and stones. Does this make me a trailblazer? *chuckles*

I love frogs; there’s no reason I just do, always have. Perhaps there’s something about their eyes…

When I finally own a nice piece of land, I will rescue animals, yeppers I love them so…

I still use an iphone 4S…because it still works and does everything I need it to do.

I don’t go to the doctor unless I have an infection that I can’t get rid of myself (sinus); I create herbal remedies for anything that ails me because…I CAN!

I’m an ambivert but mostly and introvert who needs lots of solitude or I go freaking madddddd… I can also identify with characteristics of an HSP, Empath, INFJ, INFP, Indigo, Claircognizant, Clairsentient, Life Path 8, Leo Sun, Leo Moon, Scorpio Ascendant blah blah blah, but I can be anything on any given day. I solely determine who I want to be each New Day because…I CAN!

It is my opinion that true Hip Hop is DEAD! No I don’t care to provide an explanation; just listen for yourself…

I wish Chris Brown wasn’t C-Breezy and Tey Songz wasn’t Trigga (sigh)

I hope people will learn to accept differences of others instead of hating…some day

I enjoy the show Bones and my favorite character is Hodgins; maybe because we both have curly hair? *chuckles* Nah, I love who his character is and how he loves Angie. I also love how Bones and Booth have always loved one another.

Two years at the same job and never pooped there once! *chuckles* my bladder and bowels, we have an understanding about public facilities.

I think I’m just about ready to buy a tiny house and go off the grid; well mostly…

Facebook irks me but I love Pinterest and Tumblr; my peeps are there J

Well there you have it folks; almost every quirky thing about me (I’m sure there are a few more).

To the ones I’ve met and shared moments with, I appreciate what you’ve added to my life.  I’m sending wishes for great love and peace as you continue during this lifetime and each one thereafter.

To the ones I will meet and make great strides with, thank you in advance; I appreciate all that you and all that you do.

 

Love, Peace & Blessings,

Indigo Scribe

On this New Day…

I awakened feeling groggy this morning; discomfort in my head, throat and stomach. I just feel pretty blah but I dragged myself to the job anyway just because I feel like I will miss the day’s pay if I didn’t. I realize this is opposite of honoring myself but I’ve made huge changes recently and I can admit to being concerned about lack of finances. If I don’t feel better I will go home; I’ve already promised myself…
So here is the interesting parts of my morning…
First I walked in to a spider web; why, why why do they insist on spinning webs in walkways? It’s always so finely spun that you don’t know you’re walking in to it until you feel it all over your face! (chuckles) I love spiders though, so I fussed a bit them asked them lovingly to please spin out of the walkway next time. Do you think they were listening? (chuckles)
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Secondly, I got into my car and as I look a the windshield, a baby tree frog was sitting there just chillin’. (chuckles) I still can’t figure out how in the world he/she ended up on the windshield; it looks as if he/she was “dropped off”. (chuckles) So I found something in the car to have him jump onto so I could place him in the grass. I did not want to touch him/her because he/she was a baby and I wasn’t sure if I would hurt him/her (my mom calls me Hercules, chuckles). Eventually we worked together and he/she was off and hopping in the grass…
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Here are some significant meanings relating to a Frog Spirit Guide:
Transformation
Cleansing
Healing
Rebirth
Renewal
New Life

Yesterday was filled with emotional turbulence, therefore I’m sharing my encounter with the baby frog today simply to show you just how wonderful the Universe truly is. When you ask for help (or in my case something to inspire me), it will be delivered to you (albeit not always in a way you would like for it to appear).

 As always the Universe knew what I needed on this New Day and so my cleansing and healing process has begun. Further confirmation is the itchiness I’m currently experiencing which has always been a sign of emotional release for me.
So…thank you to my Frog Spirit Guide for visiting me on this New Day when I need you most. Thank you for taking time to visit me outside of your regular business hours (frogs are mostly nocturnal). I am grateful for your guidance and beautiful energy.
To you, my Beautiful Spirits, stay focused on the life you are working to create and do not allow anything to deter you. Sure you will hit a few “bumps” in the road but none of those “bumps” are larger than your will to create the life you know you deserve.
Until next time, wishing you all Love, Peace & Blessings…
SereneNSassySoul