Dearest Heart,

My Dearest Heart,

I still believe in you and your messages of guidance. I believe you know what is best for me and why I’ve been born to this world. I know you are strong; you are why and how I’ve survived this long.

You’ve been through so much and there has been so much strain put upon you. Some of the pain has been a direct result of poor choices I’ve made when I have ignored your guidance; others just because the world is not as warm and friendly as I imagined it to be.

I’m sorry for causing you distress and please know that I’ve tried my best to do better by you. I’ve tried so hard to allow you to lead… Please know that I’ve fought gallantly for you, but just because I’m a warrior does not mean I can win every battle.

Physically I am strong but I have not won wars within my mind; it’s perhaps the strongest force within me. Unfortunately, my mind does not seem to have my best interest at heart; it’s completely consumed with maintaining control of my entire being at any cost. Hopes and dreams are irrelevant to my mind.

I’m writing to let you know that I will no longer fight my mind. I will simply concede and do what I can to simply survive in this world until this lifetime is over. Perhaps you think of me as a quitter, but I hope you can understand that I am just so very tired of fighting; I have not won many battles to date. Exhaustion has swallowed me; whatever I’ve been fighting against is stronger than I may ever be.

I imagine you will continue charging ahead, although I believe you are just as beaten up as I am. I feel you straining to stay alive; beating as fiercely as you can perhaps in an effort to prevent me from giving in to my mind. I feel your heaviness; your discontent with my decision. Please know I am grateful for all you have done and will do; my faith in you will always be. Right now, I just need to rest; to simply just be in this chaotic world. I am prepared to let nothingness consume me, completely…

Perhaps the very next lifetime, you will be the strongest part of me; leading me to greatness. As for the remaining part of this lifetime, I will fade into the background and survive; perhaps gathering information to prepare for the next lifetime.

Cheers to you, Dearest Heart!

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DSA (Divided States of America) Election – Mourning After

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The outcome of the DSA (Divided States of America) presidential election was never about her or him. I care about The People no matter what; the DSA election was not at all about The People.

As I awakened on this New Day, I felt a heaviness in my heart center. As if evil defeated good, hate defeated love, Goliath defeated David… Just to reiterate this is not about her or him (the her in this case certainly cannot be referenced as “good”) this is about The People.

I feel so disheartened because it should never have come to this; those two competing for a leadership position that impacts The People on such a large scale. I’m sad because no one stepped in to save us and I feel as though we could not do anything to save ourselves; powerless and vulnerable are the words that come to mind.

One of the worst realizations throughout the process, was feeling as though the good within The People was being reduced drastically and hate was replacing love and light.

It’s not just racism it’s pure hate for anything and anyone who doesn’t look as they look, do as they do, have what they have, believe as they believe, know what they know, act as they do…

I read something that said Canada can’t save us; funny because I thought of relocating to Canada shortly before this whole thing got into full swing. At some point, I realized that running was not the answer and I belong here same as those who CLAIM they are the only “true” Americans (whatever that means considering just about everyone one immigrated to the DSA).

I don’t know what will happen next but as I work through my disappointment, I will find answers I need to make My World a better place. My saving grace…knowing the Universe has a plan and this is where my faith remains.

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