HER and HIS Perspective Week of 04/29/13

Relationship Questions

You’ve got questions…we’ve got answers! Join SereneNSassySoul and Mr. Turn It Up as we provide guidance for thoughts stirring in your mind. HER and HIS Perspective will post each Wednesday providing you with unbiased insight from both sides.

Please submit your thoughts/questions to thoughts@serenensassysoul.com by Friday and answers will be posted the following Wednesday (please note posting will depend on submission volume). We will not publish your name; just initials.

This week’s giveaway: A $25 Amazon Gift Card will be awarded to this week’s most helpful advice/comment. Winner will be announced Friday, May 3, 2013.

We are looking forward to connecting with you. Love, Peace & Smooches…

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Reining in Your Thoughts…

Reining in Your Thoughts…

My mind is can be a valuable tool but it can also be a hindrance to my overall well-being. Have you ever had a thought that lingers and grows instead of passing through? My thoughts can become intense and grow to epic proportions! Make no mistake…a busy mind is a gift and a curse!

There are times when I can think of something and create greatness; other times I think of something and create a whirl of anxiety and frustration. I am making a conscious effort to flip negative thoughts and use them to further my progress instead of allowing them to create stagnation. I will not claim that this is an easy process but I will acknowledge that it is becoming easier to manage each day.

I’ve discovered part of my issue stems from being an impatient perfectionist. What an awful way to live: harshly judging yourself, setting unrealistic expectations, demanding way more from yourself even when you’ve given your all and just never feeling like you are enough. Well knowing is half the battle right? I am finally putting together the pieces required to live harmoniously.

postive thinkingBefore thoughts consume me, I stop, take a deep breath and regroup. Ask myself whether or not my intuition is leading this charge or if I am just going off the deep end? If deep end is the answer (LoL), I actively flip the thoughts so I can focus and resolve the matter. I’ve learned that you truly are what you think and I prefer to attract more positive energy than negative. Have you ever noticed when one thing goes bad…everything else seems to fall apart? It’s because you are actively  multiplying negative energy.

Reinventing yourself is not an easy thing but it is well worth the rewards you will reap. Stay away from negative people, images and anything else that does not resonate with your spirit. You can see, hear and feel the garbage in our world but do NOT consume it!  It’s also helpful to remember you are NEVER alone; don’t be afraid to reach out to people you can trust or even people not so familiar but who can offer you positive guidance. I’ve found nourishment among people I’ve never actually met in person; Beautiful Spirits shine brightly.

Wishing you Love, Peace & Blessings…

 

Take It Back Thursday 04/25/13

spiritual releaseToday I have asked for clarity to figure out what I should do about the one thing that is still “hanging over” my head. I refuse to stress about” it” any longer, I refuse to fight” it” any longer, I refuse to think of ways to repay “it” for benefiting from my sacrifices  yet offering nothing in return. I simply want to disconnect and leave” it” in the past where” it” belongs. It sounds simple however “it” has been a part of me for several years therefore it’s not so simple to just let “it” go…or is it really just that simple?

How difficult is it to let something go that no longer serves your greatest purpose? If you have headache, you do something to relieve the pain; shouldn’t we apply the same to life occurrences?

I’ve decided to take back my power from “it” and anything else that I may have inadvertently given my power to. I will no longer be miserable, distressed or diseased due to the words or actions of others. On this day I reclaim my independence, my power and the ability to create my peace and happiness. As the Full Moon approaches this afternoon, I will purge negative energy and feelings, I will not allow my mind to replay hurtful events, and I will not worry what effects disconnecting from “it” may bring.

pheonix risingI will simply love myself enough to know that disconnecting from “it” is clearly what must be done; I’ve been procrastinating far too long. My passion for helping others, determination to live abundantly (mind, body & spirit) and unwavering faith will guide my present and future.

Join me on this Take It Back Thursday; take back your power, relight your fire and build your happiness. After all, it really is just as simple as taking the first step.

Wishing you a day filled with harmony and smiles.

Love, Peace & Blessings…

HER and HIS Perspective 04/24/13

confusionGood Morning! We are so excited to bring you our first Q&A. Below are the questions received by our wonderful readers along with our sound advice. Please connect with us and leave helpful comments to offer additional help for them.

Stay tuned because we will announce a contest and offer a prize next week for the most helpful piece of advice.

You’ve got questions…we’ve got answers! Join Her and His perspective each Wednesday where you will gain insight from both sides. Please submit your thoughts/questions to thoughts@serenensassysoul.com by Friday and answers will be posted the following Wednesday (please note posting will depend on submission volume). We will not publish your name; just initials.

BJ, Bronx, NY

1) When do you fully start to trust your partner? 2) What is it about a person that makes you say to yourself “he/she is the one”? 3) When do you stop going for a person’s image and become attracted to their character instead?

HER Perspective: 1) Simply put…when they’ve earned your trust. Share bits of personal information with her and see how she receives and stores it. Does she bring it up during a disagreement? Does she share your secrets with friends/family? Also when you open up to her, does she listen…I mean really listen or does she seem to hurry you along as she prepares for her chance to speak? Does she ever mock you while sharing your feelings or is she receptive?

Another way to build trust or learn about your mate is by bringing her around friends and family whose opinions you value. They will definitely bring out anything that you may be blind to and provide you with valuable insight. It’s also very important to schedule activities she enjoys along with meeting and learning about her family. After all is said and done…the best guidance you will receive will be from your intuition. Do NOT ignore anything your intuition brings to you; you may end up wasting time in a relationship that was never meant to be.

HIS Perspective: 1) You’ll begin to fully trust that woman when you become open to your feelings and hers. Trust can be emotionally based and if you prejudge your relationship or put stipulations on it, the level of trust you’re looking for will be far and wide.

HER Perspective: 2) It’s a feeling… If you feel good when you are with her; if you think of her when she is not around and you smile and/or feel a rush of warmth; if you disagree at times but never let it linger; if she lifts you emotionally; if you can learn from each other…chances are she is the one. If you agree on the “must haves in a partnership” (each person WILL have a list) then chances are she is the one. If you both remain independent and secure within and outside of your relationship, chances are she is the one. Love feels good; if you are unhappy this is an indication you need to move on.

HIS Perspective: 2) When assessing someone and if they’re good enough to bring home to Mom, have around your friends and regardless of character flaws you still smile at that woman like she’s “golden”, then you may have found the one who you can rest easy with all of your days.

HER Perspective: 3) Physical attraction is definitely a factor in choosing someone you want to get to know. Let’s be honest someone’s “beautiful mind” is not noticeable right away. You admire the way she looks then you figure out how to get to know her. After a brief conversation you will know if you want to get to know her better. If you stay stuck on the size of her breast or how soft you think her a*& is…chances are you have not matured enough to be in a relationship.

HIS Perspective: 3) Image or the likeness of what you want or desire sometimes doesn’t equate to someone’s overall character. We’ve all seen the “dressed-up garbage can” and realize that we don’t merely want a trophy with an attitude but someone with class, style, well-rounded and personable. Pay attention to those things instead of her curves.

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 TH, Brooklyn, NY

I really need to know how to determine when a woman is in a relationship with u but she tends to mention how she don’t know if she wants this! Do I deal or do I drop and go?

HER Perspective: If she is unsure, it’s best to leave her with time to figure out what she truly wants. Please understand giving her time does not mean putting your life on hold. Perhaps you can ask her what is creating doubt about being with you; this may provide valuable insight for you to determine whether you should wait or walk away completely. You are worthy of receiving REAL love; you do not deserve to be put on hold while she weighs her options or figures it out.

HIS Perspective: Well my friend, sometimes you have to sit down with people and get the real stuff out-of-the-way before two people make decisions that neither can benefit from. So, don’t just pick-up and go, sit down with her and ask her what is it she wants; if you feel as though you can fill those shoes and she thinks that all is well, then stay together! Consider having a calm detailed conversation and let us know how that went.

Relationship Questions

 ANT, Richmond, VA

How do I take a woman who say she wants to be with you have your child yet she say she so sexually excited for u on one day and the next she say it wore off and she can be celibate. So I’m worth only a booty call? Please help me because I’m really hurting right now.

HER Perspective: Walk way…no wait run away! It sounds like this woman is playing games and does not have your best interest at heart. When a woman cares about you, she will not leave you wondering. It is possible she just wants a sexual relationship but it seems you want more. I believe it’s best for you to walk away from this woman instead of allowing yourself to suffer any longer. It’s possible that your self-worth is not at a healthy level; perhaps you should spend time building your self-esteem and learning to love and accept yourself before loving someone else. Once you love yourself, you will attract mates worthy of all you have to offer.

HIS Perspective: Very sorry to hear that my friend. Maybe she had a classic case of indecisiveness, initially the bubbly dream is what sparked her excitement but in solitude she had time to reflect on what could go wrong with this dream. Ask her what her fears are, is she really ready or was she spirit of the moment talking, ask her does she only see you as a booty call? Ask her these questions, she will have no choice but to face you and tell you what’s real, from that moment you’ll be able to determine if she’s for you or not.

Love, Peace & Blessings…

Her and His Perspective…

We all have questions that we need answers to at some point. Wouldn’t it be nice to have another perspective? How about Her and His perspectives? Send us your questions and we will provide you with answers about life, love and anything else on your mind. YOU are never alone and it’s always helpful to have unbiased guidance.

Join SereneNSassySoul and Mr. Turn It Up each Wednesday beginning April 24, 2013 as we provide guidance for thoughts stirring your mind, body and spirit.

Please submit your thoughts/questions to thoughts@serenensassysoul.com by Friday and answers will be posted the following Wednesday of each week (please note posting will depend on submission volume). We will not publish your name; just initials or you can use an alias.

We are looking forward to connecting with you. Love, Peace & Smooches…

questions and answsersright wrong decision

YOU ARE WORTHY Wednesday 04/10/13

YOU ARE WORTHY Wednesday…

Sensual Mystiq Vibe

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Today (and every day) don’t be afraid to be who your heart and spirit have proven you to be. Be proud of being Authentically YOU!

As we celebrate the New Moon phase, create a list of your intentions (what you want to accomplish), meditate and have strong faith that your intentions will soon become your reality. YOU ARE WORTHY of happiness; YOU ARE WORTHY of abundance; YOU ARE WORTHY to love and be loved.

May your day be filled with smiles, positive energy, accomplishments and peace. Trust YOURSELF; develop YOUR reality.

Love, Peace and Blessings…

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Road to Peace Update :)

So after my therapy of sharing with you…I decided to dig deeper. I don’t want this healing to be like the last million…feel good for a while then back to struggling. I turned to the one source that seems to resonate most with me; a book I’m reading “Walking on the Wind: Cherokee Teachings for Harmony and Balance”. I’ve always been drawn to Native American culture; perhaps because its a part of my ancestry. After delving into Ayurveda healing and Asian healing (which is all a part of me now) I decided to cross check with Native American healing. I’ve learned it’s all pretty much the same fundamentally and the basis is caring for mind, body and spirit otherwise risk being dis-eased, distressed and deeply dis-connected.

There is an exercise called the Peace Treaty; upon completion you should begin to have peace within. Upon completing this exercise, I realized that I have been the enemy all this time; I have been standing in my way; I have been filling my mind with unproductive thoughts; in short I have created the misery that has plagued me for so long. I can’t “fix” anyone else but I can DEFINITELY “fix” me.

021Since completing the exercise, I’ve been feeling lighter and hopeful because this time the healing will be permanent; there is no returning to the person I was before. I have honored my personal Peace Treaty and Beautiful Spirits have been brought into my life to assist with fulfilling my personal and professional goals. It’s amazing what comes to you when you clear out the “garbage”!

Below is the Peace Treaty and you should definitely give it a try; you have nothing to lose and oh so much to gain.

Love, Peace & Blessings…

EXERCISE: Peace Treaty This is a very simple exercise in harmony and yet perhaps as difficult as living life can be. Begin by making a list of what you would have to do in your life in order to come to your peace. Be specific, and be honest. Next, state beside each one what is preventing you from doing it as well as what it would take for you to overcome this barrier. Focus on those things that you have control over or potentially could have control over given some things being changed. As you are making your list, be sure to distinguish between those things that are truly within your control and those things that are not truly within your control. Be careful about needing other people to change in order for you to come to your peace; this is putting the responsibility of your peace onto others, over whom you have no control. I don’t waste my time trying to change people who don’t want to change. Rather, I have learned that sometimes it is important to just get out of their way (Rule of Acceptance). Also, be careful about the phrases “I wish . . .” or “If only . . . ,” focusing rather on “I will . . . ,” “I am going to . . . ,” and “I want to . . .” Now do whatever it is that you have listed for yourself, being sure not to create harm for others or harm for yourself in completing these things. You have made your own peace treaty with yourself. Now, fulfill it. Source: Garrett, Michael Tlanusta (1998-05-01). Walking on the Wind: Cherokee Teachings for Harmony and Balance (Kindle Locations 1376-1385). Inner Traditions Bear & Company. Kindle Edition.