It’s Just Me…

Here’s my thing…

I am who I am; I will always be who I am.

If you are intimidated by my presence, deal with it because that my Dear One, is YOUR problem NOT mine! Accept me as I am because I am NOT changing for you. Being true to myself if the highest form of honor; perhaps you should try it too.

Never again will I dim my light.

Never again will I attempt to lessen my intelligence.

Never again will keep quiet so you can feel better about yourself.

I am NOT here to make you feel good (or bad) about who you are, that my Dear is YOUR responsibility; perhaps you should take it seriously.

I hope you’ve enjoyed your run; it’s over now!

Be mindful of how you approach me, I am kind, compassionate and helpful but if your intentions are less than honorable I promise to be your fiercest teacher.

As always, with a smile in my heart,

Love, Peace & Blessings…

Ember Rain ~ 12/02/2017

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Family Time..Season

This post is for all of my Beautiful Sisters and Brothers who may feel alone during the “Holiday Season” what call Family Time Season :-).

Please know you are NEVER alone!

I am a Lone Wolf by nature but sometimes even I feel alone. I am here to tell you to honor yourself, first , second, third and always…

If you feel like being around people, then go ahead and find some folks to have good time with and when you have had enough, remove yourself. You are not obligated to stay longer than you want to. If you decide you want to spend time with just yourself, do it! Enjoy your company, laugh, cry, rest…do whatever you feel like doing in the moment. Perhaps you are like me and want to do both; be with others for a while and spend time with just yourself for a while…do it!

Loneliness is a feeling occurring when we hold on to something  or someone that was but will never be again.

I’ve taught myself to look forward to new experiences, new idea, new people…it helps me relieve the feeling of loneliness I used to carry with me way too often. Try it; teach yourself to look forward to what each New Day has to offer.

So during this time when it seems as though everyone has someone, remember you are YOUR most important someone; act accordingly!

Side Bar: Family is not about who you are linked to by blood; Family is a person or people who love, support, encourage and protect you no matter what circumstances may arise. Be with the person or people who make you feel loved BUT, only if you want to. 😉

To Beautiful Spirits reading this with an abundance of loved ones, please remember to reach out to those you know may not have the same.

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To you all I wish many great blessings and peace during this Family Time Season.

 

Sending you my Love,

Ayana Theresa

The One…

Loves all of me, leaves his love with me when his physical presence is not possible

Inspires me, encourages me always…

He is loyal and honest

Protective yet freeing

Supportive in every way

Wants me as much as I want him

I am safe with him, always…

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Listens, I mean really listens to what I say as well as my silence

Shares with me, never holding back

Steps in embers of passion with me creating a fire that no one else can withstand

He loves to listen to my love song; his description for breaths I take when we’re entwined

He helps me understand and make peace with pain proceeding his presence in my world

He adds purpose and fulfillment to each New Day

He is kind, he is compassionate

He is the very essence of love…

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I love the powerful strength I feel when he touches me ever so gently

His scent lingers, long after he’s gone, keeps me company until he returns

The depth and softness of his voice, flows through my ears like a melodic tune

When he stares from across the room, he turns the flame inside of me into a roaring fire

When he smiles at me, the angriest feelings no longer haunt me

For he is The One whose heart rhythm was created to sync with mine

He is whole without me, I am whole without him; together we are perfect balance.

©2017 Ayana Theresa

Soul-Partner Connection

What is a Soul-Partner? One who’s heart rhythm matches your own.

I never understood loneliness until I spent time with you…

My very soul felt at peace and completely safe in your presence.

Your beautiful spirit kept me warm and comfortable, without a single touch, despite the damp chill in the air

You listened with your heart and smiled with your heart too ~ J ~

Your words compassionate and encouraging; you stirred hope inside of me I thought was gone

Your actions told a story of what you feel for me; first time I didn’t crave words to describe feelings

You were generous, sharing all of yourself with me, enticing me to open myself to you, as gratitude

I think I’ve dreamed of you, as you spoke it all felt so inexplicably, familiar

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Since that day, your soul constantly invades my mind in most loving ways; inspiring me to become alive

I can see your smile entwined with my thoughts of you, sometimes I can even hear your voice

You feel like the Yang to my Yin; you make me feel things I’ve only imagined before now

I’d often wonder if my Soul-Partner even existed; if he did how would I know the difference between him and any other?

The Universe said there would be no denying our connection; we would know each other instantly because our heart rhythms are in-tune.

I’ve prayed for you a zillion times; even lost faith at times but now that you are here, it’s clear to me…The Universe always has and always will have my back!

© 2017 Virtually Atypical, Ayana Theresa

Only YOU Can Save Yourself

Dearest Beautiful Spirits,

After spending yesterday in bed, searching for a reason to keep trying, I’ve awakened today with reasonS to keep trying.

Here’s the thing, I had to acknowledge that there is something within me that is destructive. It fights all of the good in me, as if it’s trying to prevent its inevitable death once I get the hang of thriving as my authentic self. This destructive (for lack of a better term) part of me is a strong son-of-a-b&tch, fortunately the rest of me is even more powerful.

You see it’s so much easier to blame something outside of yourself when your life doesn’t seem to go as want it to. At this time in my life, there is no one or nothing to blame, yet I still feel as though I am not where I should be.

I’ve even tried to blame it on being an introvert, unfortunately everywhere I look there is a successful introvert thriving because of who they are. I honestly believe as an idealist, dreamer, INFP I often get stuck in the creation phase of things and lose interest shortly thereafter because…monotony of day-to-day business is not appealing to me. Funny thing is, I am definitely at the point in my life where working for someone else, helping to build their dreams is simply NOT AN OPTION! I’ve managed other people’s businesses, it’s past time for me to put my big girl panties on and manage my own business. HUuuuuuuumph! *chuckles*

Bottom line is, I’ve been afraid of following through with my dreams/ideas because lack of support has subliminally taught me I am unworthy of fulfilling my dreams/ideas. Growing up, no one ever saw the splendor in my dreams/ideas and I wasn’t encouraged to pursue them. If the ones who love you don’t seem to believe in you, how can you expect anyone else will?

As the years went by, the twinkle in my eyes along with my fearlessness slowly evaporated and I began waiting for someone to save me (i.e. from the bully in school, the adults who thought it was okay to violate my trust, an abusive spouse…) yet no one ever came to save me.

 

YOU ARE WORTH SO MUCH MORE THAN YOU MAY KNOW AT THIS MOMENT; DON’T EVER GIVE UP ON YOURSELF. ITS TIME TO BE YOUR OWN HERO…

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Being saved was a deep longing I needed fulfilled but much to my chagrin, it never happened until the Universe told me clearly and with certainty, “You and only you have the power to save yourself. It’s time for you to do so with all that you are; all that I’ve created you to be. You are never alone, I am always here unconditionally loving, protecting and guiding you.”

After such a spiritual awakening, there is no way I could continue waiting for anyone to save me so I made a conscious effort to begin saving myself. I am not perfect nor always happy but my personal power is something that I rely on to keep moving forward instead of allowing myself to give up.

Let me just tell you, my entire being…mind, body, spirit, soul and heart gang up on me if I try to give up; seriously sore throat, chest pains, back pains, headaches, spiritual disconnection etc. The part of me that is not destructive has become so much stronger than the part trying it’s best to shut me down therefore, my only choice is to keep moving forward.

Wishing You Love, Peace & Courage during your personal journey…

SereneNSassySoul

Dearest Heart,

My Dearest Heart,

I still believe in you and your messages of guidance. I believe you know what is best for me and why I’ve been born to this world. I know you are strong; you are why and how I’ve survived this long.

You’ve been through so much and there has been so much strain put upon you. Some of the pain has been a direct result of poor choices I’ve made when I have ignored your guidance; others just because the world is not as warm and friendly as I imagined it to be.

I’m sorry for causing you distress and please know that I’ve tried my best to do better by you. I’ve tried so hard to allow you to lead… Please know that I’ve fought gallantly for you, but just because I’m a warrior does not mean I can win every battle.

Physically I am strong but I have not won wars within my mind; it’s perhaps the strongest force within me. Unfortunately, my mind does not seem to have my best interest at heart; it’s completely consumed with maintaining control of my entire being at any cost. Hopes and dreams are irrelevant to my mind.

I’m writing to let you know that I will no longer fight my mind. I will simply concede and do what I can to simply survive in this world until this lifetime is over. Perhaps you think of me as a quitter, but I hope you can understand that I am just so very tired of fighting; I have not won many battles to date. Exhaustion has swallowed me; whatever I’ve been fighting against is stronger than I may ever be.

I imagine you will continue charging ahead, although I believe you are just as beaten up as I am. I feel you straining to stay alive; beating as fiercely as you can perhaps in an effort to prevent me from giving in to my mind. I feel your heaviness; your discontent with my decision. Please know I am grateful for all you have done and will do; my faith in you will always be. Right now, I just need to rest; to simply just be in this chaotic world. I am prepared to let nothingness consume me, completely…

Perhaps the very next lifetime, you will be the strongest part of me; leading me to greatness. As for the remaining part of this lifetime, I will fade into the background and survive; perhaps gathering information to prepare for the next lifetime.

Cheers to you, Dearest Heart!

DSA (Divided States of America) Election – Mourning After

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The outcome of the DSA (Divided States of America) presidential election was never about her or him. I care about The People no matter what; the DSA election was not at all about The People.

As I awakened on this New Day, I felt a heaviness in my heart center. As if evil defeated good, hate defeated love, Goliath defeated David… Just to reiterate this is not about her or him (the her in this case certainly cannot be referenced as “good”) this is about The People.

I feel so disheartened because it should never have come to this; those two competing for a leadership position that impacts The People on such a large scale. I’m sad because no one stepped in to save us and I feel as though we could not do anything to save ourselves; powerless and vulnerable are the words that come to mind.

One of the worst realizations throughout the process, was feeling as though the good within The People was being reduced drastically and hate was replacing love and light.

It’s not just racism it’s pure hate for anything and anyone who doesn’t look as they look, do as they do, have what they have, believe as they believe, know what they know, act as they do…

I read something that said Canada can’t save us; funny because I thought of relocating to Canada shortly before this whole thing got into full swing. At some point, I realized that running was not the answer and I belong here same as those who CLAIM they are the only “true” Americans (whatever that means considering just about everyone one immigrated to the DSA).

I don’t know what will happen next but as I work through my disappointment, I will find answers I need to make My World a better place. My saving grace…knowing the Universe has a plan and this is where my faith remains.

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